Before you start make sure you take a note of your answers to find your results at the end.
1. It’s your first day sparring do you
A. Go hard then complain when your partner reciprocates
B. Tell everyone how fortunate they are to be your first sparring partners and that one day they’ll be able to tell their grandchildren of this day
C. Let your partner know it’s your first day and ask them to guide you, try and work on your technique
D. Sweet, I’m going to look so pumped after this
2. You’ve had a challenging session
A. The search for someone to blame is always successful. Complain you haven’t been shown things correctly or that your partner is too advanced or big
B. They say the great die young, so I must be on my way
C. Learn from the experience and grow as a person and as an athlete
D. Do more weights, strength is strong!
3. One of your training partners is promoted do you
A. Tell them you didn’t think they were ready and that you were surprised that they were promoted
B. Give them some tips where they can further improve, sure they’ve trained longer but you know better
C. Congratulate them on the achievement. You know the hard work that’s gone into getting there
D. Belts, the only belts you need are weights belts!
4. You’ve trained before, on joining you
A. Lie, either drastically under or over estimate your experience
B. Say nobody is perfect, It’s just hard to be humble when you’re as great as I am. By the way i’m nobody
C. Accurately describe what training you have done
D. Two words “Weights”
5. You partner with a newer member for some drills
A. If they are close to a submission coach them through the last part, that way it’ll look like you gave it them
B. Don’t be afraid of my greatness, some are born great, some achieve greatness, just be happy you got to witness my greatness
C. Work some of your B game, help them fill in any holes in their game
D. Teach them the ways of the Swoly Bible
6. You’ve come home from training do you
A. Sulk that no one is acknowledging your greatness
B. Post a selfie in your training gear, all the top fighters have bathroom selfies
C. Relax and rest, you’ve earned it
D. Have a protein shake, you can’t miss the anabolic window
7. You’re out with friends do you
A. Tell them you could beat them in a fight under a specific rule set
B. Boast about where you’ll be in 12 months time. Check everyone has liked your athlete page on facebook even though you’ve only competed once
C. Enjoy their company and talk about your shared interests
D. Wear your rashguard, It’s literally skin tight. Don’t forget to do some press-ups before going out
8. There’s a competition coming up and you want to enter
A. Lie about your experience to enter a lower ability category, complain that the ref “had you over “afterwards
B. Tell everyone how you’re too advanced, domestic events don’t interest you, you’re going to be an international star
C. Up your training and make some improvements to your diet, you want to perform your best
D. No more half reps on bench – this is serious!
9. One of your team mates is competing do you
A. Say how you could do better
B. It’s a done deal buddy, you train with me
C. Offer to come in and do extra rounds or drilling if it helps, you know they’d do the same for you
D. Fill them in on all the BroScience, are they getting their BCAA’s, Pre Workout, Pre Pre Workout, Creatine, Glutamine, Weight Gainer?
10. There’s a seminar with a well known athlete
A. They’re 70kg, you’re 120kg. Jump on them, if technique is real they’ll survive!
B. Offer your own alternative to the techniques they are showing. Criticise when you reach my level, meanwhile admire me!
C. Be attentive, maybe take some notes to work on the material after
D. Do they even lift?
You’re a D@%#
You are exactly the sort of person we try to avoid in the gym. You’re welcome to come along and we’ll do our best to give you a chance but you’ll have some tough lessons to learn. You’ve got the most chance of making profound positive change so long as you take responsibility and ownership of your own development and actions.
You’re an Egomaniac
You’ll do well in the gym, ( at least you’ll think you are), We love an ego to challenge we’re equally amused and amazed in the ways people can reject reality to bolster their ego. Training can be a great mirror for who you are, not just looking at your physical reflection but for honest self reflection. A little ego can help motivate you to improve and up your game but too much ego is also the number 1 cause for injury and is really really irritating.
You’re a well adjusted human being
You’re ideally suited to the gym, modesty, humility and a desire to learn and develop are exactly what we are about at Viva. You’ll be welcomed with open arms (Even if those same arms will eventually try and choke you). You’ve probably got your aspirations and efforts in line with one another and will go farther and be happier for this.
You’re a Meathead
Sure you can clean and press double your bodyweight but unless you skewer your partner with a barbell first you’ll probably find the leverages different. Keep up the conditioning but try to focus on timing and efficiency and you’ll make double the technical gains.